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View Full Version : Being Beat By a Woman---Can ya take it?


LostArt
05-17-2009, 11:54 AM
No, not litterally. I started to name it "Being Licked By a Woman" and thought that would only hit the gutter for sure! Especially around Clive and Tramp67! :D

As some of you know, I grew up on a farm. I really wouldn't call myself a "tomboy" because I did like being a girl but if I wanted to play any games with my brothers, I had to play their games. I didn't mind really because they were fun....especially if I WON! :D

My brothers didn't like being bested by a girl even if it was their sister, but they got over it pretty quick and if it was against one, then the other brother would be choosing my side ANYWAY. I think because they were very competitive with each other.

Whether it was cards, chess, checkers, other board games---or just playing pool, basketball, baseball, football, etc...we were always wanting to win---be the best! And just because you were a girl or a sister, it didn't matter...your goal was to win!

We were always playing with those that we worked with (in the summer) or went to church with, and even our cousins. I was use to a group of males that didn't get their boxers in a wad if I did win or if any female won a game at something.

Until I started dating, that is. I was set up once to date this guy from the town of Branford. He was to pick me up at our house on the river. Well, we had a pool table downstairs next to the kitchen back then and when you walked in the door ...there it was! So the guy says, "Can we play a game of pool before we go out?" I said, "Sure." I figure it would be a good break the ice alittle, get to know one another kinda thing, right? Wrong! It was the most tenseful date I had ever been on!

It was going well until the end of the first game and I won. He said, "Let's play another." By the end of that game, it was getting intense. He had some talent, no doubt. And I had to be on my toes during the end of that game. Yep, I won that one. He says, "One more." I wasn't very bright.....I asked, "Are you sure?" Hehehehe..........RIGHT he was mad. I didn't mean anything by it, but by the time the 3rd game was underway, I was warmed up good. He was also getting rude and that only made me more determined to beat this wise crack.

I put the 8 ball in the pocket, he threw down his pool stick and left without a word. I was so shocked, that I sat down and just looked at the pool table. My father comes down stairs and says, "Where is your date?" I replied, "He left without a word daddy." My father was trying not to grin. My father was the type of person that would smile with his eyes. And his eyes were glittering in concealed laughter.

He sat down beside me and asked, "Why did he leave?" I said, "I beat him in three games of pool. The first game went well, the second was getting heated up, but by the third....he was mad as fire and stormed out the door without a word." My father started laughing and put his arm around me and said, "Any young man that feels bested by a girl, especially my girl, ain't worth my girl's time."

And THAT'S why I'm with the Boss today. I can jump for joy at winning or beating him in any game---a game of HORSE, shooting better at target practice, catching more fish than him-----and he is laughing or grinning. A man that can take "joy" in being bested by a girl, is my kind of man!

Lizzy Bordon
05-18-2009, 12:02 AM
Lost Art....I grew up with my cousins, boys, super athletic, I got to be the filler, for whatever, learned how to play everything.....they never cut me any slack. I broke my arm in 3 places, my wrist and two fingers but I beat the boys and spent a week in the hospital. Did I learn,,, NO....I got really good at sports. I worked for the telephone company years ago and the lineman used to bet the contractors money that they couldnt beat me at raquetball or basketball. I wore dresses to work, high heels and would go to the raquetball court and slaughter the contractors one by one. The guys I worked with loved it because non of them could beat me. I played a contractor at least twice a week at one point, it was a blast and I got to keep the money. I finally got beat by one guy who was 6'6" tall. I figure it was like cheating he just stretched out and covered the whole court. He wouldnt go for a rematch (wimp). I still love being competitive....its in the blood. My mind says go go go and my body says please Im too old to break anything else.

OMG when I was in the power plant we pulled the knobs off the control panel and played air hockey on the table on night shift. One of the guys floored me by accident playing football, landed on my face, foreman comes in and I am sitting in the break room with a bloody nose and road rash on my face. Glory days........yeah I get beat now......it stinks but I live. Now they have stupid safety rules.

Competition is good for the sole. My high school sweatheart the quarterback went on to be the kicker for the NFL Red Skins.....life doesnt get any better than that! He taught me how to throw a football and I used to play football at lunch with the lineman....you got it I got to be quarterback.

Thanks a bunch lost art for the memories......ouch, crunch.

Put me in coach Im ready to play......

Lizzy Bordon
05-18-2009, 12:04 AM
Hey figure out how we can play Scrabble online. I have a brother in law I have never ever beaten at scrabble. He is a Menza its insane. I'll go to my grave not being able to beat him.:mad:

LostArt
05-18-2009, 07:24 AM
CL, you have to read the posts here first you crazy hammer knocker! Atleast in order for us to take you SERIOUSLY. :D

LOL! Good times, eh Lizzy? I'm finally getting back to my walking and riding a bike after surgery. I've missed the physical activity. But, you are right...these old bones might not can take it. Can you believe I have NEVER broken a bone? Not the first one (knock on wood)!


Hey figure out how we can play Scrabble online. I have a brother in law I have never ever beaten at scrabble. He is a Menza its insane. I'll go to my grave not being able to beat him.:mad:

Scrabble? No. I've played it before. My aunts made us play that. But, my brothers and I would rather play Yahtzee. :D

Twink
05-21-2009, 11:15 PM
It was my second date with this girl and she suggested we attend the local park for a round of tennis. Now I already knew she was into tennis from small talk. She asked me if I was any good to which I replied… “Hell, yeah!”

Keep in mind I was good in an “I’m a jock and am a natural at all sports” kind of way.

Well we get to the park and she lends me one of her old rackets. Now the $500 racket in my hand should have been a warning of “this girl is NOT an armature.” But being the typical guy, I was distracted by the pretty colors and freakishly light weight of it.

It is all a bit still hazy but from what I remember…

We both took to our respective sides and being a gentleman, I insisted she serve first. She said we’ll volley for serve and then we’ll get the game on. Alright, whatever:rolleyes:

So she throws the ball way up into orbit and upon reentry, jumps up and hits it EXACTLY at the very apex of her jump, all the while letting out some amazon headhunter man-woman scream I haven’t heard before or can really describe.

I didn’t even have time to react! It all happened so fast my brain didn’t even have time to theorize a self defense maneuver let alone send one out. Basically, there was enough time for my eyeballs to tap a may-day to my brain saying “Dude, you f*cked.”

The ball traveled so fast off her racket, it teleported itself to my side of the court, just like that! Like that!!! Just like that!!! Like it created its own wormhole through space-time and reappeared again. I didn’t even see the ball until it hit my side of the court for the bounce and it reduced its velocity to mere hypersonic speed.

And I saw the ball coming right at me face and I couldn’t do anything about it. *sniffles* Sorry, guys, I still get a little emotional. It was coming at me face all warped and oval shaped…and…and…

I woke up to blood on my face. I immediately conducted the “can I still see” self check test everyone does when they take one to the eye. YES…we have sight!

I never did seek medical treatment but to this day, I believe she exploded my tear-duct. **** eye always going a little dry in the winter...

LostArt
05-22-2009, 07:50 AM
LOL! Twink you are what I call a character. :D

That's almost as good as me saying I'm good at riding a horse only to be thrown right in horse ****! Yeah, and when I say, "it tastes like ****" I KNOW what I'm talkin' about.

BigClive
05-22-2009, 09:54 AM
OMG when I was in the power plant we pulled the knobs off the control panel and played air hockey on the table on night shift. One of the guys floored me by accident playing football, landed on my face, foreman comes in and I am sitting in the break room with a bloody nose and road rash on my face. Glory days........yeah I get beat now......it stinks but I live. Now they have stupid safety rules.


So tell me. How many of the control knob pucks disappeared without trace after a maxi-power-smash during the game? When I get carried away at air hockey I can generally make the pucks leave the table with force on impact with the oppositions end.

Lizzy Bordon
05-27-2009, 11:50 PM
Big Clive believe it or not we actually had an alarm go off while we were playing air hockey. Boy did that suck trying to stick the knobs back on at 100 miles an hour and not get blown to bits. I learned a lesson, look in the machine shop for something a little less important to play with. The lineman who got electrocuted last year at Met Ed was one of my opponets. I really miss him. He was training me in the power plant, went to the 10th floor to pull the chain to open the soot blowers and as luck would have it...it breaks...here comes the big ass chain down the cat walk right at us. What a noise.....he was screaming run.....all the way down about 8 flights of stairs to dump the plant off line. I thought I was so dead.....good thing he was there.....I would have stood there in amazement I didnt get killed by the chain only to get blown to China.

OMG I loved the tennis story....what a killer.

BigClive
05-28-2009, 12:45 PM
Now have you ever considered.... That being all grown up and having a bit of cash (when the works there) you could actually have bought a REAL air hockey table.

When I was a young apprentice I liked pinball so much that I bought some pinball machines. Then I bought some fruit machines (slots), video games and jukeboxes too. When I bought my own place I just went for the biggest flat I could afford to put all my slot machines and other technical junk in. In hindsight that turned out to be a good thing to do.

LostArt
05-28-2009, 06:14 PM
Pinball wizzard! :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGe1K8XwOpA

I loved to play pinball. Played it a good bit back in my day. My kids just about missed that era. Where I grew up there is a pub called The Brown Lantern. Mr. Brown had some pinball machines left over from the late '70's and I took my kids there later to get sandwiches and while we waited for our orders we would play. :D

I'd love to play one again...

That would be cool just to have a gameroom. I wish we had one!

Lizzy Bordon
05-28-2009, 07:22 PM
My grandmother owned a Pizza shop. I had slugs to play in the pinball machine. I played all night long. I was wicked at it. I could not wait for the guy to replace the machines so I got a new one.