Storm Stories from a Lineman's Wife Prospective.....

[LostArt]

Laughing at some of your edgy stories reminds me of a few....like sharing accommadations with another couple.....kind of story.

Over the years, I've read some of your storm stories and heard some on my end through the linemen I know. But, I've not heard many from a wife's prospective. Just wondered how many of your spouses went to visit you during a storm. Well, the storms I'm thinking about....and maybe some of you remember, was Hugo and Andrew. Hugo hit the SC coast and Andrew hit the south tip of Florida. Some of you may have heard these stories. I've told so many I feel like I might be repeating myself. But, I KNOW I've not shared this one. This is pretty edgy for me, but funny.

Now, you all know I'm a little open-minded, can be outspoken, but I'm pretty conservative. But, the most embarrassing moment, for me, and funny... was when I visited the Boss during the restoration of Andrew. I guess about 3 to 4 weeks into this restoration.

The first thing that happened was when I rode down with some linemen girlfriends. Yes, I was the only wife, but I knew these girls. However, they were more outspoken than I. And pretty (as Clive says) a little provocative and edgy. The conversations are not something I would start talking about in mixed company much less in the same company! My husband told me later, "I wish I was a fly in that car when you rode down with those girls! Just to see your face dear."

I was just thinking I was proud of myself making it down with these girls and then we get there and they start cutting up----with the other men in my pressence. LOL! You all know where this is going I'm sure. I mean after all it's been a few weeks since seeing your spouse, right? Must the S word be on everyone's mind????

Okaaay. I make it through all the teasing and then it gets dark. The Boss and I are in one bed and another g/f and her lineman are in another. Well, the other couple wasn't as conservative as we were. After a while, I'm trying not to laugh, but the whole situation just hits me as hilarious! That's me though! :D

I think I've got control over even this ackward stituation until it gets quiet in the next bed and my husband says, "Hey. Do you guys mind leaving for just a few minutes---give us a little privacy? This won't take long."

http://www.avowners.com/forum/smileys/cool087.gif

For over a year or more the Boss was nicknamed Minute Man.

[LostArt]

We women worry. We can't help it. And not just during storms or troubles, but about our marriage or relationships.

I don't dwell on it like I use to though. I mean I'm always concerned when the Boss is working trouble or a storm. It's just natural.

I'm not sure if it's because I don't have little ones to care for or because I have matured a good bit....or a combination of both. There are so many things you can die of these days, have an accident, or contracting some form of cancer/illness, that working the line or being electrocuted seems a little more distant in my mind. I'm not sure.

Plus we have a firm relationship and we talk things through. There is more time for just us, if that makes sense.

Another thing I've come to learn and do is just say, "Be careful. I love you. See you when you get home." I no longer voice that I'm worried. When I was in my twenties with children, I did say it. I don't know when I learned not to say it, but I think he felt more comfortable in leaving when I didn't voice it. And back then, there were more accidents and deaths......on the line than I hear now (in my neck of the woods).

I think it's just the experience and maturity to learn when to say it, how to say it, and NOT to say it. We have handled so many situations in our lives (outside of work and marriage) that we have grown to know what each other is thinking before they even voice it.

It's just simple relationship stuff that you learn over the years I think. It's a woman thing, but I always want to hash it out before it becomes a problem. I'm not even sure if I learned that from anyone or even my parents. I think it's just in me to "work it out" so we can get on with the rest of our day....lives.

And I've also learned when to back off. If I get "that" look, I'm slowly backing off. It's not often that it happens. The Boss is pretty laid back. He doesn't back off, I have to leave the room! :D And then he gives me time to cool off.

Another thing is we don't go to bed angry. "Don't let the sun set while you are angry." I learned that from the pastor that married us. It's not that I thought that was a wonderful idea at the time, but since I do like solving a problem and finding results or solutions, I tend to want that in our relationship/marriage too.

And we have respect for each other. For each other's feelings, our work, hobbies, political issues and yes....even our differences. He's never right and I'm always wrong. Heh.

You might all be going to work trouble on the line, but we are making sure there is no trouble at the nest. Or that's the way I see it from my prospective.

[tramp67]

Lots of wisdom and good ideas in your "relationships and stuff" post, LA. One of the reasons I like reading your posts, and tell the Boss he has a great woman by his side!:cool:

[LostArt]

Lots of wisdom and good ideas in your "relationships and stuff" post, LA. One of the reasons I like reading your posts, and tell the Boss he has a great woman by his side!:cool:

:D Thanks Pete. I'll tell him but he will say, "Yeah, but you don't live with her." ;)

That's another thing. The Boss is Master of Teasing. Some of the teasing means the opposite of what he just said. You have to learn to read between the lines with him.

Another thing I left off is giving him his space. I think that is important. I didn't learn all that at the beginning. Heck, I didn't have time to read books on relationships or how to keep a marriage alive.

There wasn't Opra or Dr. Phil telling me how to keep a relationship alive. Nor was there one around for my parents and grandparents. I think it all boils down to wanting to make a relationship work. And I wanted it to work---so I listened and tried to understand my partner. No, I didn't learn it all in a year or even years. I think I'm still learning! Because you even change over the course of time. We all do.

Giving your partner space is important. Yeah, I know. Women work a full time job, run the kids here and there, and keep the house....yes, I know. Been there, done that. You ASK him for some help. Men don't "know" what needs to be done to keep the household running. They "really" don't! LOL!
Yes, I learned that too! So you have to ask for the extra help.

One day I was running around trying to get to a football little league game on time and fix the strap on my daughter's ballet shoes. And throw another load of clothes in the washer and dryer, etc, etc, (you girls know what I'm talking about) when my husband says, "You need to chill out." Saying this from the recliner is NOT the thing to say to a woman that is frazzled and almost ready for the men in white coats, am I right???

So, I gathered what little bit of patience I had left and said, "Would you like to help?" And then he asked, "What would you like for me to do?" Instead of saying, "NOW YOU WANT TO HELP!" I gave him a few tasks. To my amazement, he went right to it! And I'm thinking, "How did that happen? He has never done that before."

It's all in how you ask. They don't mind helping, they just need directions or a task that they can do. Men are use to doing "men chores" it's all they know; doing man things. Now, I wouldn't ask the Boss to hem or sew a button on, but he can do other tasks. Actually, the Boss can thread a needle better than I can. He does that better because he uses that skill in fishing.

Back to the needing space. They need their time with their friends/buddies or even going fishing for a day or even a hobby. They need it. And women need theirs.

I never was one to have girlfriends when my kids were small. I never took the time to have friends to go off with. I went with my sister-in-law, my mother or even my mother-in-law---I didn't have time for friends. Or so I told myself. Also, while having a family, I helped my handicap brother on the weekends after my father died. I didn't even realize that I needed time for myself. I would cry and get so stressed out and then tell myself to "get over it" most people aren't as fortunate as you are. Get over yourself.

Well, when the Boss and I moved, I was lost at first. I had no idea how things would change. My children moved off, I didn't live by and help my mother-in-law, and I no longer helped my handicap brother........good golly. What do I do???

About two years after we moved, I asked the Boss, "Let's go to the beach. Get away for a few days." He hates the beach. So, he didn't want to go. I really did. So, I went by myself. And for two nights!

LOL! My kids were calling, my husband calling----it was a riot. I walked on the beach, went out to eat by myself, watched tv-----I had complete control over the remote! WOW! After the second night my husband calls and asks, "You are coming home tomorrow, right?" I didn't have the heart to tell him I wanted to stay a week.

I needed that time to relax and reflect. I had no time to do this before. I remember hearing stories of women running off or away. I never understood that. Leave your children??? Oh my goodness. I could never do that. However, I can understand wanting to escape for a while. Have some alone time.

Since my life has slowed down, I don't really need much "alone" time, but I do need to get away---do something different. I think we all need that time to ourselves, men and women. It's important. AND when you get home, he/she is really glad to SEE you and be home. Some of you know what I mean. Some of you have been doing this. GOOD FOR YOU, I say!

Cliff Notes:

**ASK him to help----give him a task(s) that he can do

**Give him some space

**Take time to relax---be alone