Old Sayings

[LINETRASH]

I was thinking of some old sayings I used to hear growing up:

If the dog had'nt stopped to take a **** he'da caught the rabbit.

Yeah, you'll **** if ya eat regular.

I aint seen you in a coon's age.

If a buzzard had a piano up his ass ther'ed be music in the air.

Want in one hand and **** in the other and see which one gets full first.

Rare as chicken teeth.

Eat up with the dumb ass.

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kickin' contest.

Dont piss on my leg and tell me its rainin'.

That's slicker than two eels in a bucket of snot.

He's so ugly mom had to tie a ham around his neck so the dogs would play with him.

[lineman-up]

my dad used this saying on me:

buy him the book, buy him a horse, send him to school whats he do. stands on the books and fu@@s the horse.

it takes a big dog to weigh a ton

and my favorite

"theres alway plan B"

[Dave@PSE&G]

Has anyone ever heard this one; "The eagle ****s today". I heard a 30+ year man say it. When I asked him what it meant, he said it is what you say on day one of a contract year (when the pay raise kicks in).

[Koga]

"If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass"
"Aint nothing wrong with a duck but his bill"
" god gave man enough blood to run his brain and his ____ , just not enough to run both at the same time"

Koga

[Orgnizdlbr]

Has anyone ever heard this one; "The eagle ****s today". I heard a 30+ year man say it. When I asked him what it meant, he said it is what you say on day one of a contract year (when the pay raise kicks in).

The eagle ****s or flies on friday means its payday.....to me

[Orgnizdlbr]

thats slicker than snot on a doorknob

he's more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs

thats slicker than owl ****

[dbrown20]

#1.He's rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth.

#2. He's smoother than a possum's cod.

#3. If bull**** was music he'd be a brass band.

#4. I wouldn't **** you, you're my favorite turd.

#5. He couldn't pour piss out of boot with directions written on the heel.

#6. He was so nervous he was ****ting on one hock and kicking it off with the other.

#7. Just because your breath smells like ape **** don't mean you're King Kong.

#8. If his brains were Nitroglycerine, he wouldn't have enough to blow his head off.

#9. Colder than a witch's tit.

#10. Harder than a *****'s heart on payday.

#11. Hungry as a ***** wolf sucking 10 little ones.

#12. I'll stomp a mudhole in your ass, and walk it dry. (My dear brother used to always tell me that).

#13. He's so horny he'd screw a snake if someone would hold it's head.

#14. That's nothing he's so horny he'd screw a bush if he thought there was a snake in it.

#15. He's smarter than an electric fox.

#16. Hotter than 9 kinds of hell.

#17. Hotter than a fresh f----d fox in a forest fire.

#18. Hotter than a 4 peckered goat in a pepper patch.

#19.That is so screwed up it would piss off the Pope.

#20. (Describing a woman of loose morals.) She will hunt with any old hound.

#21. Dumb as a post.

#22. He's got an ass on him like a summer possum.

#23. Grinning like a possum eating ****.

#24. He ain't got the brains of a stomped possum. (Lotta possum stuff.)

#25. All that old dog is good for is to eat **** and run rabbits.

#26. Ain't had so much fun since the old sow eat my little brother.

#27. Where's Jim? He went to **** and the hogs got him.

#28. Don't let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird ass.

[LostArt]

The eagle ****s or flies on friday means its payday.....to me

Right, but not fly or ****............I use to make an "all call" on payday. I paged, "The Eagle has Landed."



"Jack of all trades; master of none."

"You can take a mule to water but, you can't make him drink it."

I have a few more but I'd better not post them here! :D

[wudwlkr]

Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock.

Busier than a four-balled tom cat.

Colder than a well digger's ass in the Klondike.

Slicker than greased owl snot. (Seems to be a lot of snot related sayings!)

If I only had balls than I'd be the king said the queen.

[Squizzy]

Here is an e-mail I got today thought it might fit in well here enjoy...

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water
temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to
be. Here are some interesting facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in
May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting
to
smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.

Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.

The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,

then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally

the children, Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you

could actually lose someone in it.

Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood
underneath.

It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other

small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became
slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off the roof.

Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed

a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess
up
your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over
the
top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into
existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.

Hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would
get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on
floor
to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more
thresh
until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A
piece
of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things
to
the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They
would
eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold
overnight
and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had

been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge
in the pot nine days old. "

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off It
was
a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would cut

off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the

fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content
caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning
death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years
or
so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of
the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper
crust."

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.

The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of
days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and
prepare
them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of

days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait to
see
if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of
places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the
bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these
coffins,
1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and
they
realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string
on
the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the
ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the
graveyard
all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone
could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

And that's the truth.. Now, whoever said that History was boring ! ! !

[LINETRASH]

That is one of my passions, useless trivia!

Did you know:

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finnland 'cause he didnt wear pants.

The continents names all begin and end with the same letter. (Asia/Europe, ect)

The first product to have a UPC lable was Wrigleys gum.

The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.

Florida is bigger than England.

Robert E Lee, is the only person to have graduated from West Point without any demerits.

Ammo belts in US warplanes in wwII were 27 feet long, giving rise to the term "The whole 9 yards".

The term dodgers, as in Brooklin Dodgers was derived from the term "Trolly Dodgers", citing the abilty of Brooklinites to dodge trolly cars.

Let me close with my favorite saying of all time:

"I'm just like Donald Duck. Flat footed, dont give a ****!"

Cheers!

[Outlaw Lineman]

He's so stupid he could f*ck up a headache ball with a feather

[thrasher]

He's so stupid he couldn't organize a free kegger!

He couldn't lead a crew to a bar!

[Squizzy]

When in the mood for a cold beer after a hot day
"i'm as dry as a dingo's a$$"

When commenting on someones bad driving
"he couldn't drive a greasy pole up a horses a$$"

[loodvig]

"I'm dry as a popcorn fart"

[TEX]

The eagle ****s or flies on friday means its payday.....to me

"The Eagle ****s " comes from the military. A term used by service personel who used the term to indicate payday. I used to say "the pidgeon ****s today" on payday when I worked for the Grid. I wouldn't ever call those English ass holes Eagles!!! Pidgeons is a much more descriptive term for them.

[TEX]

My 92 year old (now deceased) father used to use the term when a storm hit and it was raining hard or maybe saw a bunch of looters running from a burning building...He'd say," they came running outa there like hell thrash'n rats!"

[woody]

Shoot the mule...the wire is in( back in the day...they used mules too pule the wire...often times under miserable conditions...according too those that are still alive.) (pull)...My favorite one...Don't let fear or common sense stop ya. woody

[Squizzy]

When saying that you dislike the way some one looks you say

Has a head like a bashed crab

Has a head like a deep sea racing prawn

Has a head like its been set on fire and and put out with a ice pick

Has a head like 5 pounds of chewed mangoes

Has a head like a burnt thong (of the rubber variety you wear on your feet)

Has t!t$ like a carpenters nail bag:eek:

I better stop now...

[otpig2]

1) hard to say without really knowing
2) The one with the most toys wins
3) Good ,Better, Best never let it rest till the Good is Better and Better is Best

[LostArt]

3) Good ,Better, Best never let it rest till the Good is Better and Better is Best

That sounds like a cheer OT! :D

Kinda reminds me of this saying (I don't know why!)....

I like it, I love it, I want some more of it!

[woody]

whatya waiten for A written Invitation?...A groundman asked some lineman what do YOU want? Best question ever asked in my humble opioion...A few kind words and a little compassion, repled the LINEMAN...because HE knew no matter what policticly correct or not... THE POWER IS GOING TO BE RESTORED.woody